Blind Date Sex Pic - Sexy Girl

Question: My friend set me up on a blind-date with a sexy girl he works with and I wanted to know is there any special protocol for blind dates that’s different from regular ones? This is my first blind date, but I’ve heard she’s nice and likes sex pic. Answer: There are different rules for a blind date, good thing you asked. A blind date, meaning you don’t know what the other person looks like, is a lot more dangerous and nerve-wracking than your average bar pick-up for sex pic  or second dinner. So many things can go wrong! The blind date requires faith: You must be dedicated to sharing your life story with someone you have little chance of enjoying. It will not be easy to have sex. The odds are against you. You will endure two to four hours of boring conversation, you will like two courses out of three at dinner, and there is a very small chance you’ll have sex. First, it’s important to go in prepared. Here’s an exercise to simulate the complete blind date experience: Go outside. Find a busy sidewalk. Close your eyes and count to ten. Then open up and point at the first girl walking by and shout ‘Will you go home with me tonight for sex ?!’ Her answer is 94 percent guaranteed to predict the end of your date. A blind date is harder than regular going-outs because it’s unlikely you know the other person in any way, aside from any gossip passed your way by the mutual friend. This means as well that anything he’s told you about her is likely to have been passed in the opposite direction, about you. I.e., if he says ‘Well, she’s very nice, and she’s a really great person,’ then he’s also told her, in similarly coded terms, that you’re ugly. And unfortunately, the blind date is largely about looks and maybe sex. You have, on average, one to four hours to judge someone as yea or nay, and most of your opinion will form in the first five minutes. We all know that what matters is on the inside, but on your date sans-yeux, it’s more about what’s on the inside of your shirt. Are you a model pic ? Exceptionally handsome? Abs like firm produce? Of course not. So be prepared to be witty, dapper, funny, and smart. Or, at least pick up the check. Then, walking home, remind yourself she would have gotten sick of gym-boy eventually, probably after a few weeks of three-times-a-night triple sow-cows. THE RULES OF THE BLIND DATE 1) Don’t Bring A Gift No one wants roses, and who needs candy on a nervous stomach? Bringing a gift on a first date says you felt the need to compensate for your personality. Rarely is a gift a cherry on an otherwise excellent sundae; it’s more like a cherry on a ham sandwich. If you have to get her something, buy something cool, like a new faceplate for her Nokia cell phone. That way, when she reveals she owns a Motorola, you can be like, ‘Dude…beat. Guess I’ll have to pop it on mine.’ 2) Choose a Decent Restaurant, with Obvious Exits A step above Friendly’s, a notch below the Four Seasons. You want a booth or table that’s near the door, with your chair closest to the exit. This way, when the check’s been paid and conversation goes stale over coffee, you can nod to the door and hope she gets the clue. If she asks about the nodding, explain it’s a tic related to your ‘relapse.’ 3) Use the Bathroom to Call Friends When the appetizers turn out to be more interesting than your story about seeing Blue Crush twice for the cinematography, there’s no better experience than lying about the date’s progress on the can to a friend who’s even more single than you are (at home, watching the Blue Crush trailer on the web). 4) Make After-Plans Ahead of Time Very important. The check’s been paid, there’s an awkward exchange at the door where you tried to cop a kiss, then played like it was a custom in your country for saying goodbye to someone you’ve never met before. Now is not the time to go home alone. Face it: You’d climb the stairs, hang your coat, then crawl into bed and catalog your faults. You’d even skip brushing your teeth. Tragic. Instead, have three loyal friends, preferably of the opposite sex, waiting at a bar nearby. They will slowly explain over shots of Sambuca exactly why she didn’t ‘get’ you and probably never would, even if you kept that Blue Crush thing a sex secret, avoided the tic bit, or passed on the last-minute foreigner makeout. This also allows for copious drinking (you will be excused for a half-dozen apple martinis), possibly to black-out stage, which means your burning shame will become vapors in the morning. 5) Swear to Never Blind Date SEX Again Don’t worry; you can swear now and break it two weeks later. Everybody does. If you have a big ethical problem committing to a vow, you can modify the promise and tell yourself you’ll never watch Blind Date again. This is actually a better contract; too much Roger Lodge and you start to believe he’s human. All of these sex rules, however, assume your blind date will go horribly. This is not necessarily true, just the experience of millions before you. Hopefully you’ll beat the overwhelming odds. Also, all of this changes if she actually is blind, in which case you should wear a pair of sunglasses so she doesn’t feel conspicuous.